There is nothing more satisfying than to find out your significant other will be seeing you after 6 whole months. I got the news two days ago that he will be coming back for the summer break for three months. The first thing I did? Started planning how to perfectly utilize each and every second of our time together. I figured we would meet almost every day at our usual spots and also some of the new places that I wanted to try out. It is always best to write down all that is expected from the limited time we have to spend together. I decided I wanted to give him a lot of pending gifts, his valentine's day present, for example.
I have a tiny inventory where I store all the things I have yet to give him- things I bought for him and things I made for him. This time I'm going to be giving him a chocolate cake mix and the "Open when " letters. He has a similar inventory at his place where he keeps everything he will be giving me.
There are still three more months till he gets here and I cannot put into words how much I miss him. I'm excited that he will be here with me and everything will be normal for a while. My life will be okay again. Everything will be in place and I will be ecstatic. But, it does not change the fact that he will have to leave, again. And that pain is hard to bear. It's the most difficult thing I have to do, and that too, over and over again, I cannot keep letting him go. It breaks me down into pieces to just imagine him driving to the airport with his parents while he texts me goodbye and how amazing it was to see me again. It's like a never ending cycle.
I am not good at dealing with my feelings. I go numb if I'm hurting too much. I do unthinkable things that I know I will regret later. I start new routines, workout plans, new projects that I never go through with. I stay in bed all day and watch "How to get away with murder" or "Orange is the new Black". I game, I cook , I distract myself with endless things. But, it never gets to the root of the problem. The distractions help keep my spirits up for a while, but they make me bottle up my feelings and then when I can't take anymore, I explode. Because of my stupidity, he is the one who always has to pick up my pieces and glue them back together. I owe him for it, I owe him for all that he does for me. But, it's not worth anything if I don't stop being such a baby and deal with things when they are supposed to be dealt with instead of postponing every appointment that I have in my life.
I have a tiny inventory where I store all the things I have yet to give him- things I bought for him and things I made for him. This time I'm going to be giving him a chocolate cake mix and the "Open when " letters. He has a similar inventory at his place where he keeps everything he will be giving me.
There are still three more months till he gets here and I cannot put into words how much I miss him. I'm excited that he will be here with me and everything will be normal for a while. My life will be okay again. Everything will be in place and I will be ecstatic. But, it does not change the fact that he will have to leave, again. And that pain is hard to bear. It's the most difficult thing I have to do, and that too, over and over again, I cannot keep letting him go. It breaks me down into pieces to just imagine him driving to the airport with his parents while he texts me goodbye and how amazing it was to see me again. It's like a never ending cycle.
I am not good at dealing with my feelings. I go numb if I'm hurting too much. I do unthinkable things that I know I will regret later. I start new routines, workout plans, new projects that I never go through with. I stay in bed all day and watch "How to get away with murder" or "Orange is the new Black". I game, I cook , I distract myself with endless things. But, it never gets to the root of the problem. The distractions help keep my spirits up for a while, but they make me bottle up my feelings and then when I can't take anymore, I explode. Because of my stupidity, he is the one who always has to pick up my pieces and glue them back together. I owe him for it, I owe him for all that he does for me. But, it's not worth anything if I don't stop being such a baby and deal with things when they are supposed to be dealt with instead of postponing every appointment that I have in my life.
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